Andy Barker P.I. and Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Andy Barker P.I. (2007)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)
Type: Shared Reality
Group 38

   Guy Halverson, born 1961, died 2007. The man was an enigma. Strange mysteries seemed to surround the man as well as lots and lots of belly fat.

   Guy was an entrepreneur. His company, Double Meat Enterprises, made him a buttload of money (and his butt had tons of load space). The Double Meat Palace chain of fast food restaurants spread far and wide across the American west, their flagship sandwich being the Double Meat Medley.

   Double Meat Enterprises and its subsidiary restaurants derived their names from the unique burgers they sold. Their burger patties are, supposedly, a blend of chicken and beef. However rumors have circulated that their burgers are actually made up primarily of vegetable matter with only a small amount of beer bi-product added for flavoring.

   The Double Meat Palace outlets are known for heavy worker turnover giving the soul killing, low paying nature of their jobs. There was even a minor controversy at their Sunnydale, California franchise. For a time there was such abnormally heavy turnover of labor that it seemed maybe the employees were not just leaving but were actually being killed. In a loud outburst in the restaurant, a new employee by the name of Buffy Summers made serious allegations that the missing employeeswere in fact being murdered and ground into Double Meat meat. These accusations proved baseless. Miss Summers is also far from a reliable source. Rumors around Sunnydale paint Miss Summers as a woman who actually believed in vampires and other monsters and who believed herself a "vampire slayer". Further silly rumors claim that the workers' disappearances were due to a monster which Miss Summers killed. This is obviously pure fantasy. The idea that anything supernatural in nature ever happened in Sunnydale is just plain silly. Hahahaha.

   The Sunnydale Double Meat Palace was destroyed approximately two years later when the entire town was swallowed into a giant crater.

   Guy's was just as successful in his personal life as he was in business. His wife Wendy was a very attractive woman. This surprised many people given that Guy was a big fat load. The initial temptation is to say she was attracted to his money but Wendy would freely tell people how she actually lusted for her husband. Many women seem to inexplicably lust after Guy despite his being fat, dirty and smelly. Some claim his foul odor was actually seductive pheromones. In 2007 Guy died while golfing with his accountant Andy Barker. His death was initially attributed to the combination of his being severely overweight and engaging in a foot race with Mr. Barker. His wife refused to believe this explanation citing his excellent physical condition. She believed it was murder.

   In addition to being an accountant, Mr. Barker also moonlighted as a private detective. When he started his accounting firm, Mr. Barker rented an office formerly occupied by a private detective. People were constantly coming to Mr. Barker mistakenly for detective work. Deciding to help one of these people out Mr. Barker discovered he had a knack for investigation and so began a secondary job as a detective. With Andy being a detective and her husband's former accountant Mrs. Halverson asked Andy to investigate her husband's death.

   Andy did indeed discover Mr. Halverson was murdered. Someone had swapped out important medication Mr. Halverson was taking and replaced them with placebos. At first Andy suspected Mr. Halverson's golf trainer. She was a beautiful young lady and also Halverson's mistress. However it soon came to light that the true killer was Halverson's other "mistress", Brian. It seems Guy Halverson's mysterious sexual draw extended to both sexes. As it turns out, Brian loved boobs and, uh, Guy had some big boobs.

   Guy has left behind quite a legacy of meat.

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